This post is for you, Laura.
Not that Laura is bad, of course. It's just that we share a history of people, places and things because we are sisters, and what follows is a thing which when eaten, is undoubtedly bad.
No quinoa, hemp or soy was harmed in the production of this thing.
It has no name; we called them pineapple-ham-thingies. (We being a group of seven siblings with a mom who cooked a lot of food but when she ran out steam was sanguine about tossing us a plateful of this.)
And who could blame her.
Ingredients: Buns, cheese slices, ham slices and pineapple rings.
Method: Toast buns.
Layer ham. pineapple and cheese slices.
Broil until the melty fake cheese acquires the degree of blistered patina you prefer.
Eat once approximately every 15 years.